better a witty fool than a foolish wit

30 Days of Women: Day 14

Day 14: Favourite older female character

Granny Weatherwax (Discworld). Known by the trolls as Aaoograha hoa (“She Who Must Be Avoided”) and the dwarves as K’ez’rek d’b’duz (“Go Around the Other Side of the Mountain”). She does what people need, not what they want, is feared and respected by everyone that knows her name, and her best friend is a foul-mouthed grandmother who makes obscene puddings. Granny Weatherwax and Nanny Ogg are a fabulous duo, but Granny stands out as being the darker kind of hero: she’s always battling with the evil within herself. She was born to be a bad witch and fights against it every day. She can tame unicorns, make vampires crave tea, teach preachers what belief truly is, play cards with Death and win…she has a flair for the dramatic and never fails to steal the spotlight. She also does the worst jobs. She convicts murderes and sits with the dead, and deals with the stigma that these necessary tasks lay upon her. She must always stand apart from the masses…which is why she has Nanny Ogg to keep her grounded, bring the whisky and wind her up.

Mightily Oats: “It’s not as simple as that. It’s not a black and white issue. There are so many shades of grey.”

Granny Weatherwax: “Nope.”

Mightily Oats: “Pardon?”

Granny Weatherwax: “There’s no greys, only white that’s got grubby. I’m surprised you don’t know that. And sin, young man, is when you treat people like things. Including yourself. That’s what sin is.”

Mightily Oats: “It’s a lot more complicated than that—”

Granny Weatherwax: “No. It ain’t. When people say things are a lot more complicated than that, they means they’re getting worried that they won’t like the truth. People as things, that’s where it starts.”